Do You Believe in Magic? I Do.


The velvety rabbit with big floppy ears and a silver tiara came to me 34 years ago with a nametag that read, “Fairy God Bunny.” That was when I was in my mid-20s and had cancer. For five years I carried this rabbit with me to the hospital for labs, CT scans and X-rays. I was never shy about introducing it to anyone, nor did I feel hypocritical, even though I was a 26-year-old Ph.D. candidate.

My friend Cynthia had given me the bunny soon after my testicular cancer diagnosis, reminding me several times that it had “magical powers.” She later boosted those powers by adding a wand trimmed in gold lamé to complement its frilly tutu. That bunny was intended to be my talisman, a magical defender against my cancer.

You’d expect me to be skeptical. I’d grown up in an age of science, when facts and data reigned supreme. I’d excelled at Manhattan’s Stuyvesant High School, famous for its geek curriculum. As a three-time visitor to the nearby 1964 World’s Fair, a paean to new technology, I’d drunk DuPont’s Kool-Aid: Better living through chemistry.

When I first got sick, I read every evidence-based, peer-reviewed study I could get my hands on, so I could make the best-informed treatment decisions. My odds of survival were actually pretty decent, but I found that data wasn’t enough. As a 20-something, I simply couldn’t accept any chance of not making it to 30. Put simply: Science could not guarantee me a 100% successful outcome.

Enter the bunny. I needed another tool in my tool belt to improve my chances.

And I was not alone. Stuart Vyse, a psychologist and author of “Believing in Magic: The Psychology of Superstition,” told me that many people turn to “irrational beliefs” in times of dire need. Whenever medical science does not provide a cure, there’s going to be a “psychological gap, the need of something better,” he said. Enter superstition, magic, paranormal beliefs and religion.

“It’s not uncommon to be of two minds and to say, ‘I know this is crazy, but I’ll feel better if I do it anyway,'” Vyse said.

Indeed, I never abandoned conventional medicine. I followed my oncologist’s orders: Three surgeries. Four rounds of chemo. Years of anxiety-ridden follow-ups. But I would not leave my fate in doctors’ hands alone. The fairy god bunny would be my amulet.

Before knowledge overshadowed faith, talismans and amulets — objects believed to have magical powers — had their place in any self-respecting doctor’s medicine bag. Their documented use dates back at least to the medieval period, when they were an addition to — not replacement for — surgery.

And the use of medical talismans has persisted. Dr. William Bartholome, a pediatrician and bioethicist at Kansas University Medical Center, wrote prolifically about his struggle with metastatic esophageal cancer — and his collection of 40 frogs. “Bill’s frogs were totems or talismans that he believed brought him luck,” said Martha Montello, his friend and the director of the Center for Bioethics at Harvard Medical School. Montello pointed out that he lived “an amazing five years” after diagnosis, much longer than his doctors predicted. I believe in that kind of magic.

Do I sound like a kook? I don’t think so, but no kook ever does.

Dr. Ted Kaptchuk, a Harvard physician, told a New Yorker writer several years ago that he’s always “believed there is an important component of medicine that involves suggestion, ritual and belief.” He added: “All ideas that make scientists scream.”

Kaptchuk is the chief of Harvard’s program in placebo studies and the therapeutic encounter, which is focused on studying the power of the mind to influence health outcomes. In that same interview, he noted that medicine has known for centuries that some people respond to the power of suggestion — but not why or how.

During his tenure at Harvard, Kaptchuk wrote in an email, “I haven’t been twiddling my thumbs.” He sent along a list of the more than a dozen studies he’s either led or participated in that show how placebos, rituals, beliefs and talismans play a role, albeit “modest,” when compared with surgery and medication.

When you’re in a fight for your life, “modest” is something to hang on to.

Five years after my diagnosis, my oncologist said I was cured. I believe science played the key role in that. But I also think the hope embodied in the bunny made a difference to my well-being, reducing anxiety and giving me more good days than bad.

Can I prove it? No. Does that mean it’s not true? No. As Kaptchuk told The New Yorker, “We need to stop pretending that it’s all about molecular biology. Serious illnesses are affected by aesthetics, by art, and by the moral questions that are negotiated by practitioners and patients.” All ways of saying, by luck or magic.

These days my now-scuffed bunny is in other hands. I’ve lent it to my sister, Julie, who was given a diagnosis of ovarian cancer last fall. After three decades without a name, it now has one (“Ramelle,” after a character in Rita Mae Brown’s book “Six of One”). Friends have given Julie various good luck charms — new bling that Ramelle sports along with her fraying tutu.

Not long ago, I asked Julie what Ramelle represents to her and she replied in a flash: “Beauty, faith, love, acceptance and happiness.” What could be more hopeful — or magical — than that?



This article originally appeared in The New York Times.

This article was written by Steven Petrow from The New York Times and was legally licensed through the NewsCred publisher network. Please direct all licensing questions to [email protected].


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